I've Lost
by Miss Sirius
Summary: It's Hermione and Fred's wedding day and Ron reflects on their relationship. DisclaimerI do not own Harry Potter or any of these characters.


I've lost. Yes that's right I, Ronald Weasley, admit that I lost. This time though, not at something I thought I ever would. I've lost the heart of the one woman I think I have ever truly loved. 

Today, Hermione Jane Granger is getting married. Not to me, like everyone always thought. No. Still to a Weasley though. As un-likely as the pair sounds, Hermione is marrying my older brother Fred. I guess no one could truly see them together, at least not back in our 5th year. It's been a long road though since then. 

The time during the war was a hard period in all our lives. But during that time, Hermione loved me. Yes that's right she really did. I still don't know why. But I certainly am happy that, for the short amount of time, she did love me. Only me. It all happened after Bill's wedding we had planned to leave the next day to hunt for the Horcruxes. Hermione got an owl, one that no one should ever have to get. Attached was a letter from the Ministry telling her that her parents had been murdered by Death Eaters. Harry decided that we should let her grieve before leaving, so we were staying an extra week. She really pulled away from us.

I could tell she wanted to talk about, but couldn't bring herself to. One night after dinner, I noticed her sitting outside so I decided to use some of my supposed Gryfindor courage, and go talk to her. At first, we sat in silence. I finally got the courage to say something and she burst into tears, and as you know I don't do well with tears, so I just did exactly like I did at Dumbledore's funeral and held her. About an hour later her sobs were less and less until they finally stopped. 

"Hermione," I said softly and lifted her chin up, "I'm really sorry about all that's happened and if you ever want to talk to me or anyone actually I'm sure they'd listen." After I said this she just… stared. Finally, as if breaking her trance, I moved to get up and BAM! She kissed me! That's right Hermione-the-book-worm-Granger kissed me. If I had to pick one moment to remember the rest of my life, that'd be it. But that's beside the point. From that day on we were an unpronounced couple, we knew that we loved each other, but didn't want to be together for fear of something happening to the other. I was relatively happy considering the dark times that we were in. 

Mum found out about our hunt for the Horcruxes. She forced us all to go back to complete of last year at Hogwarts. McGonagall talked to us and had it arranged to where we were aloud to leave Hogwarts if we had to go, with written permission. Most of the Slytherins didn't return that year. 7th Year was relatively hard considering we had classes to attend, homework to do, extra research for the hunt, and the actual hunts. Those could last for days even weeks. Those I think were the worst part of The War. It was terrifying everytime one of us got injured. Good thing we study healing charms over the summer. March is when we finally destroyed the last Horocrux that was hidden. By May Harry was ready for the fight with Voldemort we all knew was coming. That night I think was hardest on Ginny. She was so afraid of losing Harry, even thought Harry had broken up with her everyone knew they were still in love. Harry even told me that once the war was over, he was going to beg for forgiveness and ask her back out. Well Ginny got news of this because I had told Hermione and she had let it slip. 

We all fought our hardest that night. The battle took place on Hogwarts, we all knew that it was coming and all the students that weren't involved in the DA were to stay in the castle no matter what. Most of them listened. We were prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best. We lost a few very important people to the war that we were really close to including, Lavender Brown, she died saving Padma who was being attacked by at least 3 Death Eaters, Neville Longbottom, he didn't actually die he's been in the long term ward at St. Mungo's for being hit partially by the killing curse, Dean, he died trying to protect his best friend, Seamus, who later was also murdered by Malfoy. 

That night everyone was I think a bit more terrified than they let on. We had been battling for 8 hours at least when finally Harry had reached Voldemort. Hermione, Ginny, and me were all by his side when he finally defeated Voldemort. With all of our love for Harry, Voldemort was overpowered, just as Dumbledore had known would happen. Love is really what killed Voldemort. Never to return again he was truly gone. How did we know this for sure this time? Simple. All of Voldemort's Death Eater's fell to the ground crying out in pain. We had finally defeated the Dark "Lord"  
We were all really happy to have all our family alive and well after the war that nothing could bring us down. Harry and Ginny finally got back together and about 3 months after the Final Battle Harry asked Ginny to marry him. He asked my permission, then Fred and George's, then Charlie's, then Bill's, and finally Mum and Dad. She of course said yes. They wouldn't get married until after Ginny finished her 7th year. Hermione and I were an official couple for about 9 months when we finally called it quits. It was the hardest thing I think either of us had to do but we knew it just wasn't going to work out. We're better as friends and I know that. Even though she wasn't mine persay it always felt that way. I always thought that she would be there waiting for eventually. But she didn't wait. She began healer training the same time as Harry and I started Auror training. We still talked all the time it was just a bit harder to actually all see each other. Everyone had to go to the Burrow on Sundays for dinner with the whole family. I guess I had never really noticed how close Fred and Hermione were getting within the time in February that we had broken up til June of that year. But one week I finally noticed how everytime he made her laugh his eyes had this extra sparkle, and how she would turn her head and blush just a bit, or touch his arm or hand when she laughed. 

I never thought of myself as being able to be jealous of Fred, at least not in the Woman department, but all the sudden, this feeling in the pit of my stomach gave a lurch. The next week I noticed this again only it was worse, they were staring at each other! Now this just made me mad! I knew she wasn't mine to claim but I knew I had to have a talk with Fred! So that night I approached him while he was getting a cup of water in the kitchen alone.

"Fred, I need to talk to you." I said deciding to just jump right in instead of chit chatting.

"Uh yah Ron, what is it? Can this wait a while I've got a game of chess against Charlie going."

I took a deep breath before responding. "Fred, are you and Hermione like, uhm involved? Like are you dating? I mean cause I've notice, things happening between you two. Just tell me the truth." I said this all while staring at the floor with great intensity.

"No Ron, we're not dating. I didn't want to do that without asking if it was ok. Wow that sounds a lot worse when I actually say it doesn't it? Anyways, what I'm trying to get to is," finally Fred looks up at me, "do you think it would be okifIasked'Mioneout?" He said the last part all rather quickly but I heard him none the less.

I sighed, I knew I couldn't have Hermione to myself forever, she wasn't really mine. So that night I gave permission to Fred to date Hermione. 

Back to where we are today, 2 years after that night. Today is the wedding day of Hermione Granger and Fredrick Weasley. Right at this moment Harry is walking down the isle with Hermione on his arm wearing the most pure white dress that I have ever seen. Ginny, her maid of honor, is already at the altar crying, her hormones are all over the place with her second pregnancy and all. She only found out a few weeks ago. Finally they reach the altar and the Pastor asks "who gives this woman to this man?" Harry stands and says 'I do' and the wedding continues. I can't really pay attention to it though, all that keeps running through my mind is 'that could have been me.'

She never really was mine I guess. But I'm so grateful for the short time that I got with Hermione. Fred has her heart, but I'll always have my little piece. I've lost, and for once I think I'm ok with that. 


End file.
